Monday, December 31, 2007
12/31/07
Happy New Year all, Deb has come through her surgery alive and very well! Last night was rough and neither one of us got much sleep. Check in was at 5:45am and Deb needed to go have some tests to get ready for the big event. I was an emotional train wreck, but Deb approached the situation as the Mighty Finnish Warrior Woman she is with her matter of fact attitude. Deb's surgert started at 1:40pm, and ended about 4 hours later. The doctor came to tell us how things went. The surgery went very well and Deb was in satisfactory condition, which is the best classification you can have. He also said that Deb's valve was in pretty rough shape and it was a good thing she had the surgery. I went to dinner with my mother in law and sister in law until Deb was brought to the ICU. When I first saw Deb it was real hard thing to handle. She had tubes and machines hooked up everywhere. It was something you might see in the Bride of Frankenstine. The breathing tube down her throat was the hardest thing to see. I asked when the tube would be taken out, the nurse said when they were sure she would breath on her own. They woke her up slowly and she responded quicker than most patients do. The more Deb woke up the more she wanted the tube out but the nurse explained that the tube would come out only when everything was right, because they don't want to try to reinsert the tube if she cant breath on her own. The tube finally came out and I could talk to Deb. She told us she was fine and wanted a Diet Coke with lime. We could not give it to her because her stomach might not be ready for it, in wich case the soda would come right back up. Here are some more things Deb thought she would want after surgery that she did not get: New Years Eve bubbly, food, and gum. What she did get was crushed ice to suck on. She was happy to have that. Maybe tomrrow we can ring in the new year. sorry about spelling and gramatical errors, it's been a long day.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Hurry Up and Wait, chapter 2: We're here!
It was an emotional night - we went to see National Treasure with Nicholas Cage, and the emotion of it just got me hyped. I kept crying in the car. It's like you have all of these feelings: peace, fear, confidence, worry, loving all of your friends' and family's concern, but not wishing to be bothering them with it all... In church this AM, Pastor David was on vacation, and there was a wonderful interim pastor from Denver. He gave a dynamic sermon on "God in us" - using the example of how God came to man is a young, unmarried girl - rather than in "Godly" fashion. It was profound and reassuring. I shook his hand and asked him for a prayer for the surgery tomorrow, for me and for Pat, too. He held us both in his outstretched arms and gave us those words of comfort.
Emotional day today too - emotional but also mundane. The sacred and the profane. Thinking about your own mortality and cleaning the cat box...
I remember leaving for Japan, and packing. Trying to anticipate what I'd need and how it would be. Being scared, and yet excited, at the long flight. This feels kind of the same.
My sis and my hubby both gave me poignant, sweet ornaments to mark the event. Barb referred in her card to 'how difficult it is, as a teacher especially, to give up control'. She's had her share of medical issues; with Laurie's birth especially. How true! She pointed again to trusting the hands, both physical and spiritual, that I am in.
"Live in my heart, and heal it" has been my prayer for years. I think of my friend Patrick Malone, the Jesuit priest who was in the Peace Corps in Africa when he found out he had leukemia, and a 1 in 3 chance at survival. He survived. He now serves others with that precious life; there in NYC on 9/11 and now ministering in the depths of South America. I hope that I can, now that this will be finally out of the way, go on to do something meaningful with my renewed life. And not sweat the small stuff.
Maybe it's a good thing; to be confronted with one's own mortality from time to time!
We are in the Fiksdal Hotel, right across the street from St. Mary's. It's great. There's a lounge and computer right around the corner from our room. Too bad I can't stay here!! Mom and Barb will be arriving tomorrow. I have to be at the hospital at 5:45 AM to get the angiogram underway. Don't have a surgery time yet.
Pat's getting a cold, and I still have a latent scratchy throat and congestion; just a little more than my usual. Have to let this be known tomorrow; in case it would interfere with the surgery recovery.
Well, I'm going to go and try to live in the moment for next 24 hours; keeping deep and calm and taking in all of your prayers and love. My deep innars say I'll be fine, but I get some surface waves of anxiety. It will be a long day! I bet I'll have the best "What did you do on New Year's Eve?" story, though! And a great big old scar to prove it!!
Emotional day today too - emotional but also mundane. The sacred and the profane. Thinking about your own mortality and cleaning the cat box...
I remember leaving for Japan, and packing. Trying to anticipate what I'd need and how it would be. Being scared, and yet excited, at the long flight. This feels kind of the same.
My sis and my hubby both gave me poignant, sweet ornaments to mark the event. Barb referred in her card to 'how difficult it is, as a teacher especially, to give up control'. She's had her share of medical issues; with Laurie's birth especially. How true! She pointed again to trusting the hands, both physical and spiritual, that I am in.
"Live in my heart, and heal it" has been my prayer for years. I think of my friend Patrick Malone, the Jesuit priest who was in the Peace Corps in Africa when he found out he had leukemia, and a 1 in 3 chance at survival. He survived. He now serves others with that precious life; there in NYC on 9/11 and now ministering in the depths of South America. I hope that I can, now that this will be finally out of the way, go on to do something meaningful with my renewed life. And not sweat the small stuff.
Maybe it's a good thing; to be confronted with one's own mortality from time to time!
We are in the Fiksdal Hotel, right across the street from St. Mary's. It's great. There's a lounge and computer right around the corner from our room. Too bad I can't stay here!! Mom and Barb will be arriving tomorrow. I have to be at the hospital at 5:45 AM to get the angiogram underway. Don't have a surgery time yet.
Pat's getting a cold, and I still have a latent scratchy throat and congestion; just a little more than my usual. Have to let this be known tomorrow; in case it would interfere with the surgery recovery.
Well, I'm going to go and try to live in the moment for next 24 hours; keeping deep and calm and taking in all of your prayers and love. My deep innars say I'll be fine, but I get some surface waves of anxiety. It will be a long day! I bet I'll have the best "What did you do on New Year's Eve?" story, though! And a great big old scar to prove it!!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
pat's first blog
We are going to Rochester tomorrw to get settled, and get ready for the big day. Deb has put me in charge of doing the blog while she is having her bionic parts put in. her new valve is supposed to work better than the original factory parts,
Friday, December 28, 2007
Riding on Bald Tires-A Graceful Retread!
In 2005, I spent a day at the "Mayo Resort", getting poked and prodded and taking my shirt off numerous times (no, I am not a flasher!). I had recently realized that I was a likely candidate for heart valve surgery, and was still pretty nervous about it. I remember thinking 'well, if I have a heart attack right here, at least I'm in a good place for it!' Irrational fear, number 1, and number 2-heart attacks aren't associated with valve disorders...But that was then, this is now. I am soooo far past the panic, the "oh my God I'm going to die!", the "why me"; thankfully!
My Mayo voyage today was solo, peaceful, and interesting. Yes, there was the usually de-shirting, poking, etc.; but there was also a fantastic lunch (complete with heart-healthy red wine), an art tour, an amazing lack of patients, and some great conversations with some of the techs. I also got to meet Dr. Sundt, as well as Dr. Evans and two other cardio docs, and my favorite nurse Beth (who I remember fondly from 05 - she was the disarming woman who came bubbling into the room wearing a brightly colored poncho and carrying a big wicker basket with a giant model of a heart inside, like some kind of oddly misconstrued Easter Bunny...) The Cardio Docs all gathered 'round to listen to my rhythmic ticker (apparently I am a great example of a specific type of murmur) and concurred. Time. No Symptoms? We usually do this at the onset of symptoms, but... As I mentioned, over the years we've measured the speed at which the blood is charging through the damaged, stenotic (stiff) valve. When the measurement hits a 40, most people are having the surgery. My measurement has been well over 40 for YEARS (hence the frequent check-ins); and is in fact up into the 70's. Dr. Evans said I'm "riding on bald tires." The Cardo Docs gape at me like I'm WonderDog. Guess all that working out and eating tofu has perhaps paid off?
We have the conversation about which valve I should get. Dr. Sundt - who is adorable, affable, and professional and DOES look a little bit like Hawkeye (also a little bit like my friend Joel Sipress) wouldn't lead me one way or another on a tissue valve versus a mechanical one. A tissue valve, made from pig or cow, makes no noise, does not require the use of anti-coagulant drugs, and may last about 10 years. A mechancial valve (like the workhorse St. Jude's valve), is made from titanium, clicks a little (bringing new meaning to the term "ticker"), and will outlast the patient.
"With the tissue valve" says Dr. Sundt, "there is an 80% chance we'll see you back here - at least once. But the second surgery is low risk. With the mechanical valve, there is a 95% chance we WON'T see you back here, but you need to take warfarin."
Generally, younger patients get mechanical valves, as you probably don't want to have TOO many valve replacement surgeries in your life! That's what I keep hearing from everyone I've seen, and it seems like the right way to go. Just so long as the "ticking" doesn't make me crazy (insert Edgar Allan Poe image here....)
At any rate, things just fell into place for New Year's Eve -- which worked well with my thought that "it'd be great to get this done over winter break". Did I mention how gracefully God has laid all of this out for me? Which was my one prayer - let it be GENTLE? First the furnace turns out to have a hole in in. (Furnace: Heart of the House...). Then, my car battery dies on the RAV (Battery: HEART of the car...). Then, my car battery dies AGAIN (yes the new one!). Then, I open up School Arts magazine and read the first headline "Opening the Heart of Art". Then I see a semi pass by me at a stoplight, with a huge heart on the side being held up by a penguin. Then, the furnace loan goes through and a I get a magically sudden appointment at Mayo. Then, the surgeon I like happens to be free to do the surgery on the day I thought would work well...and so on!! Did I mention that my colleague and art teacher extraordinaire, Kimberlee, is actually available to be my long-term sub? Or that my principal, Gina, and my curriculum director, Joe, were both wonderfully supportive? I want to say "God, I know we Finnlanders are dense, but I am getting the message!"
So, we're set. It's a little like getting ready for a trip. I'm always excited, and scared, to fly. Excited, because it is a rare experience and kind of thrilling in a way. Scared, because even though it's very likely that all will be fine, if there is a mishap it will be serious. I'm feeling the same exact way about this. Excited, because I will finally be on the "A.V. - After Valve" portion of my life, and I'm amazed at the technology. Scared, because even though it's very likely that will be fine, if there is a mishap it will be serious. In both cases, I have to trust the professionals whose hands I am in, quite literally! And know that God is watching over it all!
My Mayo voyage today was solo, peaceful, and interesting. Yes, there was the usually de-shirting, poking, etc.; but there was also a fantastic lunch (complete with heart-healthy red wine), an art tour, an amazing lack of patients, and some great conversations with some of the techs. I also got to meet Dr. Sundt, as well as Dr. Evans and two other cardio docs, and my favorite nurse Beth (who I remember fondly from 05 - she was the disarming woman who came bubbling into the room wearing a brightly colored poncho and carrying a big wicker basket with a giant model of a heart inside, like some kind of oddly misconstrued Easter Bunny...) The Cardio Docs all gathered 'round to listen to my rhythmic ticker (apparently I am a great example of a specific type of murmur) and concurred. Time. No Symptoms? We usually do this at the onset of symptoms, but... As I mentioned, over the years we've measured the speed at which the blood is charging through the damaged, stenotic (stiff) valve. When the measurement hits a 40, most people are having the surgery. My measurement has been well over 40 for YEARS (hence the frequent check-ins); and is in fact up into the 70's. Dr. Evans said I'm "riding on bald tires." The Cardo Docs gape at me like I'm WonderDog. Guess all that working out and eating tofu has perhaps paid off?
We have the conversation about which valve I should get. Dr. Sundt - who is adorable, affable, and professional and DOES look a little bit like Hawkeye (also a little bit like my friend Joel Sipress) wouldn't lead me one way or another on a tissue valve versus a mechanical one. A tissue valve, made from pig or cow, makes no noise, does not require the use of anti-coagulant drugs, and may last about 10 years. A mechancial valve (like the workhorse St. Jude's valve), is made from titanium, clicks a little (bringing new meaning to the term "ticker"), and will outlast the patient.
"With the tissue valve" says Dr. Sundt, "there is an 80% chance we'll see you back here - at least once. But the second surgery is low risk. With the mechanical valve, there is a 95% chance we WON'T see you back here, but you need to take warfarin."
Generally, younger patients get mechanical valves, as you probably don't want to have TOO many valve replacement surgeries in your life! That's what I keep hearing from everyone I've seen, and it seems like the right way to go. Just so long as the "ticking" doesn't make me crazy (insert Edgar Allan Poe image here....)
At any rate, things just fell into place for New Year's Eve -- which worked well with my thought that "it'd be great to get this done over winter break". Did I mention how gracefully God has laid all of this out for me? Which was my one prayer - let it be GENTLE? First the furnace turns out to have a hole in in. (Furnace: Heart of the House...). Then, my car battery dies on the RAV (Battery: HEART of the car...). Then, my car battery dies AGAIN (yes the new one!). Then, I open up School Arts magazine and read the first headline "Opening the Heart of Art". Then I see a semi pass by me at a stoplight, with a huge heart on the side being held up by a penguin. Then, the furnace loan goes through and a I get a magically sudden appointment at Mayo. Then, the surgeon I like happens to be free to do the surgery on the day I thought would work well...and so on!! Did I mention that my colleague and art teacher extraordinaire, Kimberlee, is actually available to be my long-term sub? Or that my principal, Gina, and my curriculum director, Joe, were both wonderfully supportive? I want to say "God, I know we Finnlanders are dense, but I am getting the message!"
So, we're set. It's a little like getting ready for a trip. I'm always excited, and scared, to fly. Excited, because it is a rare experience and kind of thrilling in a way. Scared, because even though it's very likely that all will be fine, if there is a mishap it will be serious. I'm feeling the same exact way about this. Excited, because I will finally be on the "A.V. - After Valve" portion of my life, and I'm amazed at the technology. Scared, because even though it's very likely that will be fine, if there is a mishap it will be serious. In both cases, I have to trust the professionals whose hands I am in, quite literally! And know that God is watching over it all!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Hurry Up and Wait - The Tests
OK, so we've known for years that the valve is going to have to be replaced...now the time is getting much, much closer. Ironically, our furnace is broken right now, too! Just today, the loan went through for the furnace AND I got an appointment for Friday (12/28) for the tests -- the echo, electrocardiograph, chest xray, etc, etc. plus a consult with Dr. Sundt, a cardiothoracic surgeon. He looked nice; a little like Hawkeye from M*A*S*H. Tonight I will go to Mom's; then to Rochester EARLY in the AM for the testing, and hopefully, to get a surgery date scheduled. I have a little sore throat; hopefully that will be gone soon....
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